My Affliction

My wife and I are in the process of moving to Austin where she will teach and I will finish a degree in anthropology. Recently, my wife decided that I should be tested for adult ADD. She consulted the advice her parents, and her Mom seems to agree. My wife's brother and sister have both been diagnosed with ADD and are currently taking medication for it. I have a good friend who has been diagnosed with ADD and received a prescription for Adderall. After many conversations with him regarding the symptoms of ADD, I'm beginning to think that, indeed, I have it too.

I have an obsession with music and sound. I've been producing my own music for several years now, but I've always been frustrated with the way I work. My brain is always scattered, always thinking about multiple things, crazy thing, and I honestly have a hard time focusing. This handicap has certainly slowed me down in life. I didn't do very well in school, despite my "potential", and it is a rare occasion when I sit down for an extended period of time and do serious work in my studio.

My wife and I have decided that we'll hand over the $500 so that I can get tested for ADD once we settle in Austin. I've actually tried Adderall on several occasions, and for me, it was like putting on glasses. It was a paradigm shift. The first time I tried it, I sat in my studio and wrote a song from beginning to end with no interruption. The whole process took something like nine hours, but I sat there and worked non stop until I was finished. All of my few experiences with Adderall have been this way. Wow! A streamlined mind! Look out life, here I come!

Except, Adderall is a drug. It is a "legal" drug, with a "legal" dealer, but it is a drug none the less. Another friend of mine who takes Adderall put it this way (I'm paraphrasing), "Once you see what it does for you, buying it every month becomes a leading priority." Sounds like addiction to me. So, I've got a decision to make. Do I pay the $500 bucks to get tested so that I can buy the drug and use it when I need to in order to "focus" my mind? Or, do I save the money, struggle with the limitations of my mind, and face the possibility of an underachieving and frustrating life?

On the hand, perhaps the problem isn't my mind at all. Maybe it's the structure of society itself. Afterall, my life is very pleasing to me. I tend to be overly nonconformist at times, and it makes "plugging in" a difficult thing. I walk to the beat of my own drum machine, but society requires a specific level of engagement: jobs, money, food, family, school. These require that I plug in somehow, but my "ADD" makes this difficult.

Maybe my brain is normal (afterall, it is organic), and SOCIETY is messed up (after all, it is synthetic). So, good reader, should I use drugs, or not?

Judges Against The Drug War

Once again, just to show I haven't fallen off my rocker, check out the above link.



From the main page:

"For the past thirty years Judges have looked on as America’s War on Drugs has played itself out before their eyes. They have seen the inevitable increase in police powers and erosion of civil rights needed to facilitate the investigation of drug offenses. They have witnessed the widespread, unprecedented use of asset forfeiture. And they have been forced to impose unjust mandatory minimum sentences."

This is definitely worth a read.

Re-examine the problem

Introspectively, I don't know why I've adopted this campaign. I think it's because, on a personal level, I tend to be a sensitive, friendly guy. I've had all kinds of friends in my life, and some of them did a few "drugs." I remember a co-worker I had once at an old job. She was a middle aged african american woman with several children . She worked two jobs, and was trying to send her youngest daughter to college. She also sold drugs on the side to supplement the cost of tuition. She told me she was trying to give her daughter a chance at something that no one else in her family was going to get. This really impacted me. Is it fair that we stigmatize her for doing what she's doing? If she had gotten caught, she would've been placed in jail. This might've ruined her family and her daughter's chance at a better life.

Drugs are a problem. I agree. But the problem requires a serious re-examination. At the core of the drug problem sits addiction. This force provides the impetus for much of our survival instinct. There are human societies on Earth right now which still criminalize sex. In truth, we ain't much better than them.

Drugs are chemicals. Drugs don't kill people, people kill people. We've legalized guns, right? Aren't guns dangerous? Don't they also ruin lives? We shouldn't be "fighting drugs with drugs." We should be fighting addiction with education. And the anti-drug propaganda needs to stop dissemenating lies. Marijuana isn't "bad". Heroine, crack, cocaine... YES, but not marijuana. Not anymore than tobacco, and it's certainly more benign than alcohol. Ecstasy, as pure MDMA, is not dangerous either. The reason why Ex is illegal is because it hit the streets in mass before the government could regulate it. However, because it is illegal, it is now more dangerous because, for various street reasons, it gets cut with other more dangerous substances. Religion maintains a long tradition of ritualizing hallucinogenic compounds for "spritual awakenings." Our drug policy even prohibits this expression of religious faith (depending on the "drug", that is).

As with every drug, the "danger" is determined by how much is taken, what else is taken, and all of this is determined by the mindset of the "user" as it is controlled by addiction. Drugs don't kill people, people kill people. Quality of education would go much further to curb the use of drugs in society than legal punishment and the threat of incarceration. We should be spending more money on our teachers, and less on enforcing rediculous and maladaptive drug laws.

Of course, we won't do this. Not when we're making the tools of war instead of the minds of peace. Not when we're chugging oil like a fratboy at a kegger. Not when corporations can control all the "legal" drug outlets and push their "this will only help you feel better" medicine. And not when we're encouraging children to take Ritalin to help them "focus" in school.

Humanity is precious and fleeting. I wish we would stop and take notice.

Freedom of Thought

This is the basis for all of our other constitutionally guaranteed rights as American citizens. So, why does our federal governemtn draw the line at "illegal" drug use? Because it's dangerous? Automobiles are dangerous. Planes are dangerous. Guns are dangerous. Surgery is dangerous. Life is dangerous, actually, DEATH is dangerous, although unavoidable. Capitalism is dangerous... run out of money, and you're screwed! Alcohol is stupid (in my opinion). The point is, people should have the right to do what they will to their bodies. This includes the consumption of peyote for "religious purposes", and the use of mushrooms (also for "religious purposes"). Heck, even Christ turned water into wine, and that was for fun!

For more on the idea of "freedom of thought", click on the above link.

Pharmacotherapy- fighting Drugs with Drugs

Click the above link to read the report at Cognitive Liberty.

I have a friend who knew someone with a heroine addiction. A doctor prescribe another drug to combat the effects of heroine addiction. The kid with the heroine addiction overdosed on the "prescription" drug and died. He died, not from the heroine, but from the "antidote" to heroine addiction. Ironic, isn't it?

The doctor who prescribed this drug failed to acknowledge to broader effects of addiction. His short sightedness cost the kid his life.

The point is, drugs are a problem in society because we've failed to acknowledge the neurological ROOTS of addiction. In short, everything about our world relative to "conscious experience" is determined through a cascade of chemical reactions in our brain. Everything can be addictive to some degree, which is why people in America buy too much, consume too much, and live an ever increasingly stressful lifestyle.

Our society, in it's complexity, promotes drug use, especially alcohol, cigarettes, and prescription drugs. These are they real gateway drugs, we need to de-criminalize certain illegal drugs, or we'll maintain a legal double standard which will ultimately ruin our society.

The War on Drugs needs to be re-examined under intense scrutiny. Until we in America do this, we'll support a tragic legal system which further deteriorates basic human rights.